A Blessed, Reformed Heritage
Rev. Arie denHartog
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One of the rich aspects of the heritage of the Reformation which has been graciously preserved in the Protestant Reformed Churches is the truth of marriage. We count this as no small blessing today in an age of absolute lawlessness regarding marriage and the breakdown of half or more of the marriages contracted in our land. This is the situation not only in the world in which we live but also in the churches of our nation. There are today almost as many divorces and remarriages in what calls itself the church as there are in the world at large. There is in the church a wholesale disregard for the sanctity of marriage and for what God's Word has to say about marriage.
From this debauchery of marriage follows the awful sorrow and misery of broken homes and families. Irreparable psychological and spiritual hurt is being inflicted on the children of these marriages. God is visiting the sins of the fathers on the children, so that there is a cycle of broken marriages that only grows worse and worse from generation to generation.
Church leaders are wringing their hands over what to do about the wretched consequences of broken marriages and the devastating consequences this has for the church, but few have the courage to stand up for the truth of God's Word concerning marriage and to preach this truth boldly for the glory of God and the sanctification of God's people
In this situation God has preserved in our midst God's truth of marriage. We believe that God has preserved this truth through great men of God who were convinced of the unchangeable and absolute Word of God and held it fast without compromise. God's truth concerning marriage is plainly written in the Scriptures (Matt. 5, 19; Mark 10; Luke 16; Rom. 7; I Cor. 7). Many writings from godly leaders in our churches have been produced and are today available. The relevant passages of Scripture have been carefully exegeted through a great amount of detailed study. Below I have listed some of the books that are available.
God's truth of marriage is that it is an absolutely unbreakable bond between one man and one woman established by God Himself. It is a lifelong bond that God Himself dissolves only at the death of one or both of the partners. Contrary to popular opinion, no action of man can dissolve marriage. It is wrong to imagine that the adultery of one or of both of the partners of marriage can dissolve the bond of marriage that God has established. It is wrong to imagine that the desertion of one of the partners of marriage dissolves the marriage bond.
It is true that the Lord allows for divorce in the case of the adultery of one of the parties of a marriage. We do not believe, however, that this divorce dissolves the marriage bond. It allows for a legal separation of "bed and board" in a very grievous and often, humanly speaking, impossible situation. But this "permissible divorce" does not end a marriage. We do not believe that I Corinthians 7:15, when it speaks of "a brother or sister not being under bondage", means that desertion by an unbelieving partner dissolves a marriage.
In harmony with the fact that Scripture teaches that marriage is a lifelong, unbreakable bond Scripture also clearly forbids all remarriage. Not only does God forbid the remarriage of a man who committed adultery, but He forbids also the remarriage of the innocent party. This is clearly taught in the last part of verse 9 of Matthew 19: "whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. " If there is any doubt about the interpretation of the" exception clause" of Matthew 19 and its application to remarriage this is settled by the testimony of several other relevant passages of Scripture. Whoever takes another partner than the one whom God gave to him or her in marriage in the first place lives in adultery with that partner. In the words of our Lord to the Samaritan woman at the well: "the man whom thou now hast is not thy husband." We believe that remarriage before one's partner has died involves one in a life of continual adultery before God.
There is forgiveness for even the vilest of sins. There would be no hope for any of us if this were not the blessed truth of the gospel. But the way of forgiveness is always the way of repentance and forsaking of sin. Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery, "Go thy way and sin no more." One cannot expect that the Lord will forgive when a man continues in sin and does not even have the intention to forsake sin. No church may ever assure someone that he has forgiveness for a sin when he does not forsake that sin. Yet this is exactly what is being done in many instances to members of the church who are living in the continual impenitent sin of adultery.
Serious compromise regarding the truth of God's Word in order to allow for remarriage has done much to corrupt the truth of marriage in the church at large today.It has gone much, much farther than allowing the so-called innocent party to remarry. Church leaders today allow and even sanction remarriage in almost any situation. If there is any mention of sin as far as divorce and remarriage is concerned this is easily overlooked, or glibly confessed, while members of the church are allowed to continue in their sinful life-style without true repentance. So it is possible, sometimes even in the same church, for a brother to steal the wife of another brother and, with the blessing of the church, to continue to live for the rest of his life with this woman who is another man's wife.
The Lord led the Protestant Reformed Churches to the truth of His Word on marriage under the leadership of Rev. Herman Hoeksema. The story of how the Lord did this is particularly interesting. In his early ministry Rev. Hoeksema went along with the commonly held position that fornication on the part of one party of a marriage dissolves the marriage bond and allows the "innocent party" to remarry. He confesses this in a published pamphlet called the "Unbreakable Bond of Marriage". Later, however, after a more careful study of relevant passages of Scripture, Rev. Hoeksema came to the solid conviction of what God's Word teaches regarding marriage. He outlines this conviction in the above cited pamphlet.
Rev. Hoeksema taught the truth of God's Word that marriage is a reflection of the covenant life between God and His people and between Christ and His church. Rev. Hoeksema gave a characteristically carefully formulated, biblically based definition of marriage. He defined marriage as:"the union between one man and one woman for life, a union that is based on a communion of nature, a communion of life, and a communion of love, which is a reflection of the covenant relationship between Christ and His church; a union, moreover, that has its chief purpose in bringing forth the seed of the covenant"
This truth of marriage has rich significance for the nature and warm personal blessedness of married life. This truth also has much to say about the calling of husband and wife to be faithful to each other for life in marriage. The highest calling of marriage is to reflect the glory of the covenant relationship of God and His people and the faithful love of Christ for His church. As God never forsakes His covenant people, though they often commit spiritual dultery with the world, and as Christ never forsakes His church, though they often sin against Him, so the husband and wife ought to love one another faithfully, bear with one another's sins and weaknesses, and never forsake one another.
The Protestant Reformed Churches recognize that it is true in a sense that they have broken with Reformed tradition in the stand which they have taken on marriage. They have been criticized for this. To be Reformed is to follow the tradition of the great Reformers and the tradition that the Reformed churches have maintained through history. It can be shown that the great Reformers such as John Calvin and Martin Luther allowed for the remarriage of innocent parties in the case of a marriage where adultery had taken place, and also when a partner had been wrongly deserted by an unbeliever. It can also be shown that many leaders in Reformed and Presbyterian churches through history have allowed for remarriage of the "innocent party" and of deserted parties. The Westminster Confession officially states that the "innocent" party is allowed to remarry.
Several things, however, must be said about this. We believe that the ultimate test of truth must be the Word of God. In very rare instances, aspects of Reformed tradition have later been shown to be in error through further, more careful study of the Word of God. We believe that the tradition regarding the understanding of God's Word on the truth of marriage is one such rare instance. We by no means say that lightly. The great principle of the Reformation is the principle of the absolute and final authority of Scripture. The position of the Protestant Reformed Churches on marriage is "Reformed" according to this great principle.
Secondly, it can easily be shown that neither the great Reformers nor the Reformed and Presbyterian churches in the days when these churches were still strong and faithful to the Word of God promoted the lawless teaching on marriage that is today often promoted even by leaders in Reformed and Presbyterian churches.
Thirdly, the principle of the Reformation is that of "always reforming". This principle implies that the Reformed Church must again and again test her tradition with the infallible rule of the Scriptures. It must seek to set forth ever more clearly the truth of God's Word. She ceases to be Reformed when she forsakes that truth, but is truly Reformed when she seeks to set forth the truth of God's Word through the guidance of the Spirit more clearly and absolutely.
In connection with this last point, I want to express appreciation for one particular aspect of the story of the preservation of the truth of marriage in the Protestant Reformed Churches. Prof. David Engelsma has devoted a considerable amount of time and effort to developing and maintaining the biblical stand on marriage in our churches and in the church-world at large. He has done this through authoring two excellent books on marriage which clearly outline this stand. The first is entitled " Marriage: the Mystery of Christ and His Church", the second is " Better to Marry".The latter is basically a careful exegesis of the absolutely pivotal passage of Scripture in this matter, namely I Corinthians 7.
I have yet to see any worthy refutation of the sound and courageous exegesis found in this book. Further, Prof. Engelsma has recently published a series of articles on the subject of the teaching of God's Word regarding marriage. The last several of these articles traces the history of the Reformed church's position on marriage. This series ends with a cry against the deplorable teaching regarding marriage and divorce being promoted today by professed Christian counselors and even in Reformed and Presbyterian churches, and the devastating consequences this has had for the membership of the church.
The truth of God's Word on marriage is hard. This was already understood by the disciples of our Lord. When they heard Jesus' teaching on marriage they suggested in amazement that perhaps it would be better not to marry. Jesus gives answer to them in Matthew 19. Few have ever paid much attention to this part of Jesus’ "hard teaching" on marriage and carefully considered the implications of this.
We do not ignore the obvious fact that the corruption of marriage has caused immeasurable pain and suffering to many, even of God's children, who have been grievously wronged. The answer to this suffering and pain is not to compromise the teaching of the Word of God, as so many marriage counselors and other church leaders are doing. Those who have done this have only contributed to the tragic situation prevalent in the church-world today. The answer to this pain and suffering is not by some human authority to give innocent and deserted Christians the right to marry. Though God's Word is hard it is always good. As difficult as the way of the Lord may be for some who have suffered the sad consequences of the corruption of the teaching of God's Word on marriage, the way of peace and blessing before the Lord is always the way of living in repentance and in faithfulness to the Word of God.
I have personally dealt with extremely difficult "marriage problems", as have most pastors in churches today, all too often. These cases must be dealt with in great compassion. But, as difficult as these individual cases may be, the solution is not compromise but maintaining the truth of God. We must have in mind not only one specific case but the welfare of the church and her members as a whole, and more important even than that, the glory of our God and His truth.
We are humbly thankful to God for preserving His truth regarding marriage in our churches. We say that not at all in boasting. We know that the only reason for this is the amazing grace and mercy of God. We see in our church the blessing of God on this truth in the many faithful marriages and strong Christian homes in our midst and the great blessing of God that these afford for the church.
Herman Hoeksema, The Triple Knowledge, (Grand Rapids, Michigan 1972), vol.
3 page 353.
Westminster Confession, Article 24
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